Slipstream

At a small café in San Francisco’s Mission District, wedged between a taqueria and dry cleaner, Grace has been serving eggs and hash browns and coffee for about a hundred years.

She stands at five-feet-four, minus a couple inches for her perpetual stoop. When she walks, she never lifts her feet off the floor. It’s more a sleep-walker’s shuffle—a mix between indifference and the result of a stout, squat body that no longer wants to move.

The café where Grace works—and perhaps owns and has done so for her century-long career—is a nostalgic gateway to Hollywood’s golden era. In addition to the years of grease and grime, the walls are covered with movie star posters that range from Mae West to James Dean.

My favorite is a large silver screen version of The Last Supper, with Marilyn Monroe in the center, Humphrey Bogart to her left, and Clark Gable to her right. Also at the table are Elvis, Cary Grant, Marlon Brandy, and several other Hollywood dignitaries from days gone by.

Though it’s only a few minutes past noon, I’m the only customer. I open the menu and try to read through the grease and food stains. That’s when Grace shows up, her pen and pad poised to take my order. She stares at the space across the table as she waits for me to decide. Old rock-and-roll music pours from the crackling speakers—currently an Elvis song, though nothing I recognize.

Grace dyes her hair a bright red-orange. Judging by the thick gray roots, it’s been a while since her last treatment. She has a bulbous nose that hooks down toward meaty jowls and sagging lips, giving her face a squashed look, as though years of gravity have caused it to cave in on itself.

She has a look about her of a person not fully in this world, an old woman biding her time, only partially aware that she’s still alive. It’s the look of someone who has watched too much television, someone whose eyes have been permanently glazed over by sitcoms, reality shows, and mouthwash commercials.

If she were of a different generation, I would suspect too many hours in front of a computer.

I close the menu and order eggs and hash browns and coffee. She writes down my order. I feel as though I participate in an ancient ritual.

Grace shuffles over to the counter and calls my order to the two Hispanic cooks. She speaks in a stilted, halting voice, as though she’s never fully learned how to use her vocal chords, as though she came from a place of cloistered silence and was dropped here on Mission Street.

When a few other customers trickle in, she smiles, greets some by name, takes their orders. None of them talk on cell phones or send text messages or work at computers or listen to iPods. I can’t remember the last time I was someplace where I could say that.

In between customers, Grace sits at the counter and stares at the stainless steel walls and the shelf full of hamburger buns and loaves of white bread. Occasionally, she squeezes behind the counter to take a customer’s money—cash only, rung up on a manual register unable to match today’s prices.

Grace lives in a world locked in ’50s memorabilia, free from the Internet and hand-held electronic devices—a holdout against progress and the gentrifying forces that squeeze in around her. Grace lives in a world of diminishing returns, a world that leaves her little space in which to retreat.

In some ways, Grace might be considered one of San Francisco’s more fortunate. She has plenty of food, a place to spend her days, and in all likelihood, a home of some sorts—though for all I know, it could be a back room in the restaurant.

Many in San Francisco are not so lucky. Any visitor to the city can quickly discern the severity of the problems associated with homelessness, substance abuse, and mental illness.

Last night, as I waited for a bus on the corner of Eighteenth and Castro, I watched one man get into a debate with a garbage can, two men curl up on a blanket next to the curb, another two men yell drunken insults at a third man across the street, and still another man so bent and twisted and inhibited in speech that he could not formulate the words or gestures necessary to beg for money.

Anywhere you go in the city—outside the wealthier neighborhoods—you’ll find a wide range of drunks, tweakers, junkies, panhandlers, mentally ill, and homeless people so disabled they can barely move. Any night you find the disheartened, the discarded, the walking wounded. This is the San Francisco not mentioned in the brochures.

According to the San Francisco Homeless Services Coalition, about 35,000 people are homeless in the Bay Area at any given time. Of these, 62% live on the streets during the night. In fact, San Francisco proper has the highest rate of homelessness of any U.S. city.

Yet San Francisco is by no means alone. About 800,000 people in the U.S. do not have a place to live—and as many as 20% of them have fulltime jobs.

There’s more. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 20-25% of the U.S. homeless population suffers from some form of severe mental illness, yet only 6% of the general population suffer the same fate. In fact, mental illness is considered one of the top causes of homelessness for single adults.

Yet the U.S. spends only $2 billion a year on federal programs aimed at helping the homeless. Compare that to the $700 billion spent on defense. (That’s according to the Washington Post. Some estimates put our defense spending a lot higher.)

As I sit in the Mission Street café—trying to eat a slice of toast so saturated in margarine I can barely get through half—I gaze toward the display near the front window, a wide shelf covered in fake cellophane grass, the kind you find in Easter baskets. On top of the grass are hundreds of plastic animals and plastic flowers and plastic houses.

While studying a rather sick looking frog, I notice a woman out on the sidewalk, slouched against the building, so tweaked out she can barely stand. She appears to be in her mid-sixties. She wears a blonde wig. She wears lipstick the color of bing cherries. She wears false eyelashes so long her eyes seem entangled in spider webs.

She smiles at several men who walk by, perhaps attempting to turn one last trick. But they don’t acknowledge her. I don’t think they even see her. Many talk on cell phones. Many are plugged into earphones. Many are texting as they walk.

Many look as equally lost.

We are a culture of damaged and displaced and dismissed souls. But as long as we have our iPhones and Facebook pages and HD televisions, as long as we let ourselves be endlessly entertained and distracted and misled, we don’t have to look at those we leave behind. We don’t have to be accountable, feel responsible, take action.

I push my plate aside and sip what remains of the coffee. Grace comes by and drops off my bill. She says that I should jot down my name and phone number on the back of the check. She says I could win a $25 gift certificate. Then she smiles and returns to the counter.

When I pay my bill, Grace punches the sale into her ancient register. It rings and the drawer pops open and she counts out my change like a little girl playing bank teller.

I did not write my name and number on the back of the check. And Grace never says a word. She smiles and returns to her seat at the counter.

Tags: California, homelessness, mental illness, San Francisco